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Chuck Norris in the field of typography
Posted by miha in
15 Feb 2011 — 1:28pm
15 Feb 2011 — 1:28pm
In the beginning was the Word. Then Chuck added other letters, numbers and signs.
Some letters are so afraid of Chuck Norris that they form ligatures.
FontLab never crashes for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can tell whether the font is Arial or Helvetica – blindfolded.
Chuck Norris can literally draw a space glyph.
Chuck Norris knows where the circle begins.
Chuck Norris doesn’t have to make spacing and kerning, glyphs do that themselves.
Chuck Norris can use zoom tool in FontLab up to the point where you can see specific atoms.
It’s better not to see typefaces as good or bad; there is just a list of permitted fonts allowed to be (ab)used. List made by you know who.
Chuck Norris doesn’t like children. That’s why Comic Sans is on that list.
Chuck Norris once started designing a typeface when he was drunk. That night the “w” was born.
Feel free to add other facts or image material.
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15 Feb 2011 — 2:35pm
Not exactly type-related, but in the same realm (a favorite, but not an original):
Chuck Norris can SPEAK Braille
15 Feb 2011 — 2:41pm
Chuck Norris doesn't set type – he just throws all the letters together and expects each to know its role in his sentence.
15 Feb 2011 — 4:01pm
Chuck Norris only creates one weight per font: Extra Bold.
15 Feb 2011 — 9:23pm
No flush left. Everything Chuck does is justified.
16 Feb 2011 — 1:34am
"Chuck Norris only creates one weight per font: Extra Bold."
...and then roundhouse-kicks it to create italic.
16 Feb 2011 — 2:33am
Chuck Norris scared the Venetians straight.
16 Feb 2011 — 5:02am
Chuck Norris doesn't use the word "tittle".
16 Feb 2011 — 7:22am
Chuck Norris whispers in all caps.
16 Feb 2011 — 7:55am
Chuck Norris leaves widows and orphans in his wake.
16 Feb 2011 — 7:58am
Chuck Norris only makes kick-ass type.
16 Feb 2011 — 8:09am
Chuck Norris likes whole, not sub - pixels.
16 Feb 2011 — 8:47am
The industry had to abandon hot lead typesetting when Chuck Norris snorted it all up.
16 Feb 2011 — 8:59am
Chuck Norris uses a three-story /a/.
16 Feb 2011 — 11:29am
Did you know that every question mark Chuck Norris designs is actually an interrobang‽
16 Feb 2011 — 12:23pm
Chuck Norris makes wood type by biting bits off a tree.
16 Feb 2011 — 1:25pm
Chuck Norris handcuts the mats... with his fingernails.
16 Feb 2011 — 1:58pm
“Myriad” was aptly named following a demonstration of how many ways Chuck Norris can kill a man.
16 Feb 2011 — 2:46pm
Chuck Norris redesigned Helvetica. Now it actually is Switzerland.
16 Feb 2011 — 2:49pm
Chuck Norris hinted Verdana by punching the monitor.
16 Feb 2011 — 3:49pm
Chuck Norris doesn’t need one of these:
He’ll letterpress your wedding invitations with his bare hands.
16 Feb 2011 — 3:55pm
Chuck Norris have intimate knowledge of Mrs. Eaves' bezier curves.
16 Feb 2011 — 4:00pm
http://www.typophile.com/node/44927
16 Feb 2011 — 4:03pm
Chuck Norris' bloodtype is woodtype.
16 Feb 2011 — 5:09pm
Chuck Norris’ keyboard ...
17 Feb 2011 — 6:31am
Chuck Norris can do embossing and die-cutting with an inkjet.
17 Feb 2011 — 7:12am
Chuck Norris doesn't work in the real world. All of his characters are fictional.
17 Feb 2011 — 8:02am
Chuck Norris can kick you in the nut fractions in< 1/4 of a second.
17 Feb 2011 — 8:07am
Robert Bringhurst returned from Chuck Norris's house with two stone tablets on which were inscribed the Elements of Typographic Style.
"Optically corrected," "monolinear" stroke widths look grotesquely modulated to Chuck Norris's perfect eyes.
17 Feb 2011 — 8:11am
The ellipsis was designed after the imprint of Chuck Norris' knuckles on the Trajan Column.
17 Feb 2011 — 8:18am
Chuck Norris once designed an eminently readable pixel font with a 1px cap height.
17 Feb 2011 — 9:10am
“Chuck Norris once designed an eminently readable pixel font with a 1px cap height.”
With subscript and superscript nicely done, of course.
17 Feb 2011 — 9:11am
Chuck Norris once designed a hairline font so thin that only he could see it.
17 Feb 2011 — 10:25am
Chuck Norris successfully created a ligature that tells his entire life story, from conception to 5,000 years in the future.
17 Feb 2011 — 12:36pm
A Chuck Norris glare is sufficient to uncrash any piece of software. Even Windows.
17 Feb 2011 — 1:13pm
Chuck Norris can jump over thousand lazy dogs at a stroke.
Spindly Bastard, Fat Bastard, Even Fatter Bastard, Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can smell the IP of font-file-sharers.
17 Feb 2011 — 1:02pm
Any font recommended by Chuck Norris for a logo is the perfect choice. Any font at all.
17 Feb 2011 — 1:37pm
Chuck Norris created the first two-story ‘a’ when he physically uppercutted his birth certificate at the sight of his name being mis-spelled “Chuck Narris”.
17 Feb 2011 — 1:45pm
Chuck Norris doesn’t punch cripples. So many serifs decided for self-amputation.
17 Feb 2011 — 1:55pm
An Inserat is a Bold after a Chuck Norris slap.
17 Feb 2011 — 4:28pm
There is an Unicode point reserved for Chuck Norris’ DNA-ligature.
If Chuck Norris would be your teacher, you would delta hint your fonts, because you want to stay alive.
Chuck Norris can compile the OT features of Operina Pro with his brain.
Be grateful, that Chuck Norris allows you to use C, h, u, c, k, N, o, r, i and s.
Chuck Norris’ hairlines are extrablack.
17 Feb 2011 — 5:12pm
All of the letters in Chuck's font have apertures — or as he likes to call them — “targets”.
17 Feb 2011 — 6:43pm
Chuck Norris create the entire alphabets on planet, then he manage the universal knowledge about all things. and I guess he don't need to know what we talk about him on this forum.. xD
17 Feb 2011 — 6:44pm
Chuck Norris' em square is actually an octagon and his em dash is the longest ever seen.
When asked why is lowercase had no descenders he quipt "I go down for no one!"
He has a legendary sucker-punchcutter takedown and created the quaddbls to spell "ßßhit!"
Chuck can take a • to his head and † or ‡ can't pierce his flesh.
17 Feb 2011 — 7:56pm
Chuck Norris designed a sans with serifs.
Chuck Norris can say "tittle" without laughing.
Chuck Norris can use a glyph palette in Photoshop.
17 Feb 2011 — 8:04pm
Chuck Norris can use Comic Sans tastefully.
17 Feb 2011 — 8:16pm
Chuck Norris refuses to say the word “Frutiger” — he prefers the more manly “Meatiger”.
Chuck Norris designed a font family with 1,000 weights, starting with Ultra Black.
Chuck Norris’ font is so bold ... How bold is it? ... It’s so bold, that when printed, it simply soaks your entire page in black ink.
18 Feb 2011 — 1:00am
Chuck Norris uses a gun to make ball endings on serif faces
18 Feb 2011 — 5:41am
But, despite this, the resulting text is still both readable and legible.
18 Feb 2011 — 6:40am
The Gs in Chuck Norris's fonts have beards. So do all the other letters.
18 Feb 2011 — 6:43am
Chuck Norris once designed a font called Snell Roundhousekick.